Sunday, July 31, 2005 :::
 

Berlin, Germany—January 31, 1939

A man stops Hitler in the street. He says, “Hey Adolf, old friend, how are you doing?”

“Fine thanks,” Hitler replies. “Great day, no?”

“Sure, not as great as yesterday , I guess, but…”

Hitler laughs, but seems confused. “Right, right.”

“I mean, really, that was something . . . I couldn't believe my ears …”

Hitler laughs. “Right, I couldn't either!”

“Oh, seriously? So you weren't even planning on saying all that?”

“Saying all what?” Hitler asks.

“You know, at the Reichstag? About settling the whole Jewish problem?”

“What Jewish problem?”

“What Jewish problem? That's rich. No seriously, that one line—let me just see in the paper here—yeah, here it is, front page: ‘If the international Jewish financiers in and outside Europe should succeed in plunging the nations once more into a world war, then the result will not be the Bolshevizing of the earth, and thus the victory of Jewry, but the annihilation of the Jewish race in Europe!”

“Oh shit , I said that?”

“Not so much said as bellowed . Before all of parliament! Don't tell me you were sleepwalking.”

Hitler says, “Jesus—I mean, to tell you the truth … I had . . . I mean I had had a few mojitos … you know, it was the sixth anniversary of my coming to power and all that… they threw a party for me… I just … I guess I just overindulged a little.”

“I'll say.”

“God, the annihilation of the Jewish race ,” Hitler says. “That sounds so unlike me. I just can't picture myself saying it.”

“Oh, you said it alright, I think it's even on tape.”

“Oh Christ. I really need to stop drinking so much. I hadn't even really thought about the Jews before. Some subconscious thing, I guess.”

“I know how it is. I had a girlfriend with a drinking problem once. She was a handful.”

“I mean, did people laugh at me?”

The man says, “Actually, no. It was quite well received.”

“Jesus, that's a relief.”

“Yeah. No, there was a lot of applause and everything.”

“A lot of applause?” Hitler says. “Like massive applause?”

“Yeah, I'd say pretty much massive.”

Hitler strokes his Hitler-mustache pensively. “Wow,” he says. “That's interesting.”

::: posted by Tranxenne at 10:12 AM

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