Friday, July 26, 2002 :::
 

Breaking news: eSM's most computer productive day since 1997

Infamous black hat hacker and international threat eSM was stoped today, after having stared at his laptop's screen for more then 1 hour straight. Special agents in charge of surveillance quickly realised this was unusual brain activity and decided to intervene. After storming his house, and the bloody half hour firefight followed by another 15minute of intense hand to hand combat, the threat eSM was finally controlled by the special international force under UN authority.
Here's what Agent X had to say:
"Our suspicions where aroused when the target did not take his usual drug break, after his 10minutes on internet relay chat programm. Thats when we realised he was up to something. After intense scrutiny, it became obvious he was once again attempting to install some sort of circumvention device. We allowed him to try, knowing that he would surely fail. But after 2hours of intense concentration we had to stop his progress and take no risks. Thats when I gave the green light to team ALPHA. After that hell just broke loose."
Our always on the scene team of reporters has managed to talk to a survivor of team alpha:
Anonymous [speaking with heavy russian accent]:" oh my god it was hell.. body parts were flying everywhere, we couldtn even spot him. He seemed to be everywhere at once, and always a step ahead of us. During the firefight I took a bullet in each knee and one right under my heart and as you can see I am still bleeding, but at least im still alive. My friend borris died strangled by a powercord while my commander's head was split in half by a flying laptop... That [censored] is going to have to pay! I hope he [censured] on the [censured]chair! He was an animal, a threat to society and american justice will do him good! May all my fallen comrades rest in peace, and may he [censured]ing go to hell"
Here is what eSM had time to tell us before being beaten unconscious while starting a new fight in the Armoured Police Helicopter:
"you know, im not a violent dude. I just dont like cops. Here I am chillin in my living room thinking about how im like, you know the [censured] looser of our leet haxor crew you know. 'Cause Im like totally lame and cant run linux ya know. So i'm like, [censured] that, boogie on dude... I'm going to do it right. And I start installing this uber underground hard [censured]ing core distro RedHat right. And everything starts to [censured] work smoothly ok. So then after all that heavy [censured]ing duty work man, I'm like wow man my pcmcia nic has been recognized man, and X is smooth, sound's good also. and then I get all excited and all. Ya know cause I havnt been this far since I hacked netbios! And thats when the first tear gas grenade crashed through my window. So I grabbed my Glocks right and duck behind..
-[Here hacker eSM is interupted by a Police Officer trying to get him in the Helicopter]-
What the [censured]?!!! You want a piece of me mother[censured]?"

At this point our reporters have been removed from the scene for their own safety.

So here ends our public enemy number one's day of electronique mayem and progress in illicit information systems. Luckily the Federal Agency Against Cyber Threats has put an end to his plans and saved the day. However the questions remains: Is fortress, saiko, THC, thewall, thecrowdsurfers and other international cybercrime organization still active? Will the master techie ins help such criminals and enlighten them to the way of the nix, will ubercriminal ZhorTroX master his skills and is he the next public enemy number 1? Or will Lapsus Van de Zloot's drug traffiquing ring reach us all and make us not give a FUCK?

who knows, and stay tuned.

Keep the Funk.

One Stoned Reporter.

Labels: Informatique

::: posted by Esamurai at 12:57 PM

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